When you’ve just had a blowout with your partner and you suddenly find yourself alone and calling him your ex…it’s a rough time where most people just want to find a way to pull the pieces back together and get life back to how it was. Unfortunately, it’s not exactly easy to figure out what to do to make that happen, which is why I’ve written this short list to help you out.

1) I know it seems like the last thing you’d want to do to get him back, but cutting off contact with your ex for about a month is actually surprisingly effective for a number of reasons. No matter what your situation, the separation will make the time you spend actively pursuing him a lot easier, and more likely to succeed.

2) Don’t let Hollywood fool you…sliding into a rock-bottom slump until your caring friends take care of everything for you or your ex calls you up out of the blue to get back together does NOT happen in real life. The only person you can count on is yourself, so find the motivation to rise above your depression and take back your life.

3) Nothing helps to heal like having a good friend or three or six to support you during a rough time like this, so make sure to hang out with people who care about you and make you happy. Just don’t take advantage of their sympathy by whining for hours on end about your breakup and your ex…there’s only so much even Mother Teresa could take before enough becomes enough.

4) Even if it’s forced, you should stubbornly insist to yourself that you can still live your life without your ex in it…at least for that month. Get up and take some steps to pull your life back together and start living it again. Looking great builds confidence, so go through a personal checklist of things you don’t like about yourself and fix them all. After that, show off your rebuilt hotness and “I can do this” attitude by hitting the town with some friends and having a blast. Before long the forced smile will become a real one and you’ll lose yourself in some healthy, carefree fun!

5) You can’t count on your ex to fix the relationship…he’s had his go at it, and it left you alone. If you want this to have a happy ending, you are the one person you can count on to make it work. Plan your strategy for getting your ex back so that you don’t have to rely on him for anything. You are your own greatest asset.

6) Don’t get too comfortable in your new relationship with your ex, and fall into the common blunder of reverting to your old behaviors. Getting too relaxed and thinking the battle is over once you’ve gotten him back is a deadly mistake that can ruin all you’ve worked so hard for. When you change something, it has to stay changed…letting it slide back to the old way will just leave you where you started.

Getting your ex back doesn’t have to be an impossible struggle! If you go about it the right way, you will find that it’s a lot easier than it seems. I wish you the best of luck in all this, although in all honesty you don’t need it. All you need is a plan!