How to Deal with Male Competition when Meeting Women-I
Have you ever avoided talking to a woman just because she was talking to another guy?
Or maybe you avoided approaching a group of girls with one or two guys with them because you feared embarrassment just because you ASSUMED that those guys were cooler than you.
There are two reasons why guys have a fear in talking with women who were with other guys.
Most guys when they saw the girl being with another guy, they think it is her boyfriend.
Guys shouldn’t think this as a barrier of talking to a woman. Plus – she’s not a guy’s “slave” or a piece of property, so she is free to talk to whomever she chooses, especially in a social situation like in the bar where people meet other people.
Approaching a woman who is “with” a guy often will make you look extremely confident, and draw out his jealous side, making him look insecure and weak.
The second reason why guys don’t approach woman who is “with” a guy points to a deep insecurity based on a simple misconception.
Guys assumed that the “other guy” is stronger, cooler, or somehow more powerful than they are. Men tend to be threatened by other men.
This exist in an ancient survival strategy that has been passed through human minds.
It’s often hard to tell who the more “dominant” human is in any given interaction. The social hierarchy is very subtle, and mostly unconscious. So when a male is confronted by another male, he doesn’t know how dominant the other guy is.
As was probably common thousands of years ago, a guy doesn’t know if he will be embarrassed verbally.
So it’s better to play safe by assuming that the other guy is a threat. Guys that were too bold may have won a few confrontations, but it will take a single loss to end up dead or exiled from the game.
And then their genes were taken out of the “race” so to speak.
Usually the one that can lived long enough to survive and reproduce are those guys that played it safe and avoided confrontation.
The irony of this is that nowadays this hard-wired survival strategy is the basis for most approach anxiety – guys avoid women unnecessarily because they are making false assumptions.
The thing is, most times when you see a woman talking to another guy in the bar or club, she’s not WITH him.
They JUST MET!
For many instances I’ve approached a girl with a guy thinking it was her boyfriend, then only to find out that he was just a random dude who just approached her. Or he was just a friend or relative.
I have regrets when I remember that I used to completely not talking to a woman because I saw her being with another guy. So many opportunities that I’ve wasted. This brings me to my first point:
I SHOULDN’T ASSUME THEY ARE TOGETHER UNTIL I SEE A PHYSICAL EVIDENCE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE MEANS TO THE GIRL.
Approach a woman so that you will know what they really are. Just remember to be alert and respectful, because in the off chance they are together, the guy may be the insecure jealous type and start a physical confrontation.
So use your head – just don’t limit your options by making false assumptions.